In a punch-drunk world fawning over CAC dashboards and AI-generated copy to fake intimacy between brands and consumers, maybe it’s time to go old school. Not back to the free-loving seventies or the disco-dancing eighties.
Way back.
Back when the first brand strategist wasn’t a CMO, a behavioral scientist, or even a founder with a Patagonia vest and a keynote slot at SXSW.
Back even further.
When a strategic framework for lasting relationships wasn’t about making quarterly numbers, but a matter of survival.
This person? The Shadchan, the ancient Jewish “matchmaker”, and she’s the most effective brand strategist you’ve never heard of.
Her job wasn’t to spark butterflies, it was to help build a multi-generational brand by fomenting the lasting relationships needed to preserve a people, in a world bent on their assimilation or destruction.
And her strategy? Proven effective. So, while you battle disappointing Net Promoter Scores, second-rate Engagement Metrics, and shaky Brand Sentiment numbers consider this:
A shidduch (a match) wasn’t built on analytics. It was built on blueprints—shared values, aligned goals, the long haul. The Shadchan knew chemistry could start a fire, but only shared belief could keep it burning through plagues, pogroms, and in-laws.
Sound familiar? It should. Because the same thing keeps customers loyal when a competitor undercuts your price or your app crashes.
Attraction is easy. Connection is hard.
Swipe Culture vs. Shidduch Culture
Yet, most brands today act like serial daters. They send pickup-line campaigns, optimize for clicks, and confuse virality for loyalty. (Maybe even buy you dinner with a coupon code). That’s not a relationship—it’s a situationship. A consumer might “heart” your Instagram Story, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stick around when your customer service ghosts them at 2 a.m.
The Shadchan, by contrast, played the long game. She didn’t set up a cage fighter with a concert violinist just because they were both single. She listened, vetted, and aligned values before she ever lit a candle. Because she knew: chemistry may start a fire, but only shared beliefs keep it burning when the Wi-Fi cuts out. In other words, don’t waste time trying to connect with anyone who will talk with you. Likewise, don’t pitch oat milk to a guy who proudly wears a “Meat Is My Spirit Animal” tee-shirt.
Brands need to stop thinking they’re Casanova.
They need to build relationships strong enough to outlive empires.
If you want lasting loyalty, a true connection, and a relationship with your consumer that survives times of danger, you don’t need another pickup line—you need the ancient matchmaker’s strategy.
Brands who follow her lead win the long game.
The Blueprint of Belonging
Everlane didn’t seduce fast-fashion shoppers. Their “Know Your Factories” campaign zeroed in on people who cared about labor ethics. And it worked to the tune of 32% higher advocacy compared to brands that didn’t align on values. Everlane wasn’t just selling sweaters; it was matchmaking with customers who wanted their clothes stitched with integrity.
Tony’s Chocolonely didn’t just sell chocolate. They sold justice. Their jagged bars dramatized slavery in cocoa supply chains, turning candy into activism. Consumers didn’t just buy a snack; they bought into a sweet movement.
And then there’s Who Gives a Crap. The toilet paper brand that donates 50% of profits to sanitation projects in underserved communities wrapped in cheeky humor. Their customers are laughing, belonging, and making the world better. The Shadchan would approve.
These brands prove the same point: value alignment turns casual buyers into ambassadors, imagine what it can do for your Net Promoter Scores. And here, you’re not chasing them—they’re chasing you.
The Science of Commitment
Neuroscience agrees. Paul Zak’s research shows emotionally engaging stories spike oxytocin, the trust hormone, by nearly 50%. Translation: the right story literally rewires your customer’s brain to trust you more.
Bain & Company backs it up with math: devoted customers are 5x more likely to repurchase, 7x more likely to forgive mistakes, and 9x more likely to recommend you. That’s not a funnel.
That’s a love loop.
But, here’s the kicker: you don’t get oxytocin or love loops by chasing attention. You get them by aligning values, proving trust, and committing for the long haul. That’s the matchmaker’s strategy.
The Commitment Equation
So, if your brand were on a dating app, would anyone swipe right? Or would they block you after one awkward sponsored post?
The Shadchan asks three questions every brand should steal:
Do your values align?
Can you weather storms together?
Will this relationship make you both better?
If the answer’s yes, you’ve got a match. If not, no amount of witty copy or influencer collabs will save you.
Stop Flirting. Start Matchmaking.
Most brands confuse being noticed with being chosen. But, consumers today aren’t looking for flings. They’re looking for partners. Partners who reflect their values, amplify their identity, and stick around when things get messy.
So, stop pitching like a smooth operator at the bar. Start matchmaking. Make a Shidduch like the Shadchan who knew strong relationships had to be based on meaning, for longevity. Because in a world of endless swipes and shallow impressions, the most radical move a brand can make is to look a consumer in the eye and say:
“I see you. I get you. And I believe what you believe.”
That’s not a tagline.
That’s a match made in heaven.
